It is a common problem for heterosexual couples especially if there are past conflicts that remain unresolved. If she keeps rehashing the past, bring up things you thought she had long forgiven, there is work that needs to be done on the relationship. But every man will agree that it is very difficult to fix a problem they don’t understand.
Japanese sex dolls may be great but at some point you do need the comfort only a woman can bring. In an attempt to help you get to the bottom of the issue, we’ve outlined the top reasons why she holds these grudges.
You Are Not Validating Her in the Way She Needs
The main reason why she holds on to your past mistakes is she doesn’t feel you understand her position. Fortunately, fixing this is very easy; stop, listen to what she is saying and reflect it back to her. Saying that you understand what you did was hurtful is sometimes all she needs.
You Keep Trying to Fix It
Another reason it seems like she hasn’t forgive you is because you keep trying to fix the problem. She doesn’t need you to fix it, she just needs you to acknowledge the problem to help her emotionally process what happened before she can move on.
She doesn’t feel the past was fully repaired
You effectively repair a problem in a relationship by acknowledging and validating each other’s perspective. If you are trying to be right or win the argument, she will feel like nothing is resolved.
You Take Her moods Personally
Women are emotionally expressive. So, what might appear to you as mood swings is just how she is processing the issue. Understand that these emotions are not personally targeted toward you and don’t get defensive.
She is Feeling Insecure
It is also possible that she is feeling very insecure about the relationship and may need reassurance from you. This can happen if the problem was caused by infidelity on your part. Ignoring how she feels will only escalate the problem. So, acknowledge and validate but also reassure her.
She’s Afraid it Will Happen Again
A woman may also keep bringing up the past if she no longer trusts you and fears you will hurt her again. It is an indication that she’s considering forgiving you or not.
Advice from Friends
Women talk to other women about their relationship problems and if she’s getting the wrong kind of advice from her friends, she could keep bringing up something you did .
She’s covering up Something
Depending on the current status of your relationship, it is likely that your girlfriend or wife could be hiding her own indiscretion which can cause her to be defensive and rehash the past especially when she thinks you might be suspicious.
She Wants to Win a Fight
If she brings up past mistakes during a fight, it is likely that she is simply trying to win an argument and very likely just got caught up in the heat of the moment. This is true if what you are arguing about is related to the past mistake.
She doesn’t Love or respect you Anymore
If everything you do doesn’t work and she still keeps bringing up past mistakes, consider if this is a sign that she wants out of the relationship. Sometimes you just can’t save a failing relationship and failure to forgive past issues can be a major problem.